Category: Behind the News

New credit card rules great for the unemployed

by Alex Pickett

2007-593-credit-card-size

There’s been a lot of buzz about the new credit card bill that moved through Congress and is heading to President Obama to sign. Right-wing talk radio has made much hoopla of the changes; their rallying cry is good credit consumers will subsidize the bad. Even some news reports have made the same statement. (Back to that argument later.)

But for the jobless, this bill will give some much needed relief, from banning the practice of raising interest rates on existing balances and double-cycle billing. Here’s a rundown of the proposed changes:

  • Companies can no longer charge consumers for paying their bills by phone;
  • Creditors cannot raise your APR in the first 12 months of a new account;
  • Promotional rates must last at least six months;
  • No longer can your interest rate on existing balances increase unless you fail to pay for 60 days;
  • Payments must be applied to the balance with the highest APR first;
  • Credit card bills must be sent at least 21 days before the due date;
  • Companies must give 45 days notice before changing your rates or fees;
  • Credit card statements must be told how long it will take to pay off their balance if they only pay the minimum amount due;
  • Creditors must remove any info given to a consumer reporting agency (Equifax, Experion, etc.) about new accounts if that card has not been used or activated within 45 days;
  • The legislation bans double-cycling billing.

The new rules will probably help some people who have gotten behind on their credit card and have the means to pay it off. I, for one, don’t agree with the argument that the bill makes good credit holders pay for the bad. It’s entirely the choice of credit card companies to raise rates on the good consumers. They are choosing that option, so they can continue to enjoy enormous profit margins.

Of course, my ultimate advice is for everyone to cut up their credit cards. But, hey, that’s just me.

Unemployed journalist rule #1: Get copies of your work immediately!

by Alex Pickett

As any motivated journalist knows, our “clips” — copies of our work for media outlets — are the single most important possession in order to advance our careers. New employers ask for them, current employers review them before giving promotions. Especially in this media downward spiral, our clips are more important than ever.

So what the hell do you do when your employer destroys them?

My friend and former co-worker Anthony Salveggi has a great post up on his site concerning a “reporter’s worst nightmare.” He links to a story about a former International Herald Tribune writer who lost all the online links to his work when the New York Times merged the two paper’s websites:

… my entire journalistic career at the IHT – from war zones to SARS wards – has been erased.

In the past, reporters would photocopy their articles from the newspaper. But in this digital climate, when some stories never make it to print and live only online, more and more editors request digital copies of prospective employee’s work. And the New York Times just royally screwed this guy, well-respected reporter Thomas Crampton.

Turns out, the IHT isn’t the only paper to delete employees’ work. After Crampton detailed the incident on his blog, other reporters wrote to vent their own frustration about losing years of work instantly. From Fortune magazine and Time’s AsiaWeek to all of Knight-Ridder’s local newspaper websites, hundreds of reporters have seen their work disappear.

So, what’s the moral of the story? Get digital copies of your work! Within a week of leaving Creative Loafing, I had both paper and PDF copies of my best stories. (You can find a few examples in my About Me section.) Try to compile your clips as you write them.

Of course, that won’t help all future readers find your content in the future, but it will save you much hand-wringing down the line.

Florida’s vanishing wetlands: A talk by two St. Pete Times reporters

by Alex Pickett

Partly to give props where props are due, and partly so my readers won’t think I’m always dissing the St. Pete Times, I’d urge any enviros out there to hear investigative reporters Craig Pittman and Matthew Waite talk about Florida’s dwindling natural resources tomorrow.

The talk is called “Paving Paradise:Florida’s Vanishing Wetlands and the Failure of No Net Loss” and its based off a book of the same name. The two reporters are the author of that book.

Details on who/what/when/where after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

Why does St. Pete continue to disparage the homeless without working toward solutions?

by Alex Pickett

3419380851_f0eba9e893_oI love the daily paper. In no other publication can you read one article full of facts, shedding light on some problem and then read a columnist in the next section completely unaware of said facts and making uneducated statements. I bring this up, because I just finished my Sunday edition of the St. Petersburg Times.

In the Metro section, one reporter details the results of the 2009 Pinellas County homeless count. The statistics are  not surprising:

There’s been a 20 percent jump in homeless folks over 2007′s count. Despite the best efforts of Pinellas Hope, the number of homeless without any kind of shelter is up nearly 83 percent. And children make up nearly a third of those without homes.

Then I hop on over to the Perspectives section for Bill Maxwell’s column. His headline?

“Homeless Disrupting Our Lives.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Florida crime is down, but three cities land on Forbes’ ‘Most Dangerous Cities’ list

by Alex Pickett

The United States’ crime rate has been on a downward slope for a couple years now. (Who knows if the recession will change that.) Florida’s crime rate has not been as lucky. Our state’s crime rate has increased during the same period, albeit in small percentages. For example, according to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, Florida’s index crime rate rose 0.1 percent in 2008 over 2007.

But coincidentally another piece of info hit my inbox today: Forbes annual America’s Most Dangerous Cities. How does Florida stack up?

The Miami metro area earned a No. 3 designation as one of only three major U.S. cities with more than 950 violent crimes committed per 100,000 people.

Orlando made the top 10 at No. 6. And West Palm Beach hit No. 13.

Props to Tampa, who once made these lists but is now enjoying a huge drop in crime.

Tampa taxpayers still paying for former Lowry Park CEO’s mistakes

by Alex Pickett

13184868_4055c76713_mThe title really says it all. Last month, the city of Tampa settled a lawsuit with Donald Smith, who sued the city and Lowry Park Zoo for not providing adaquate wheelchair access. (Get the agenda item here.)

What does this have to do with Lex Salisbury, the former zoo CEO who got run out on a rail last year?

In my first article about Lowry Park Zoo back in November 2006, former employees told me about an atmosphere that discouraged employee advice and provided a disconnect between employees, their supervisors and the zoo’s management. A city audit ended up backing many of those claims.

There are a few more of these suits, regarding various issues during Salisbury’s reign, still moving through the court system. Something tells me taxpayers will be paying more than the estimated $200,000 the city is looking to get out of Salisbury.

(Photo: stagewhisper/Flickr)

Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation: Florida House passes offshore oil drilling bill

by Alex Pickett

In my few years as a reporter, I’ve followed four different state legislatures — not necessarily reporting on them for the publications I worked for, but keeping an eye for my local readers. And in those years, I’ve never seen a politically-motivated “fuck you” like HB 1219.

Originally proposed by Republican Charles Van Zant and re-written by his colleague Rep. Dean Cannon, this bill would allow oil and gas drilling three miles or more from Florida’s coast. Taking advantage of President Bush’s relaxation of a federal law that prohibited such drilling, if this bill passes the Florida Senate, we could begin to see rigs right off our favorite beaches. Particulary insidious, the revamped version of this bill was released just 10 days before the session is to end.

I’m not going to get into the huge issue of drilling for oil domestically. But there are significant questions about how drilling so close to Florida’s shores would affect our tourist economy and it does neither side justice to bring up such an important bill so close to the end of session. (I think the term is “railroading” a bill through, right?) Obviously, these lawmakers are not responding to a crisis, but trying to send a (right wing talk show-inspired) political message to the nation. That’s irresponsible to Florida’s citizens.

In fact, a handful of Republicans — all from the Tampa Bay area — opposed the bill. Big shout-outs to Bill Galvano of Bradenton, Jim Frishe of St. Petersburg and Ed Hooper of Clearwater.

Unfortunately, their opposition wasn’t enough. Luckily, the Senate does not seemed poised to take up this cause:

“I’m not receptive to it,” said Senate President Jeff Atwater, R-North Palm Beach. “That is a really significantly important issue and one that I think would, frankly at our end, would take some serious review.”

Rating: 5 bong hits bongbongbongbongbong

News Nuggets: Zoophiles, gay Charlie Crist, light rail and push-up pants!

by Alex Pickett

To nurse your Earth Day hangover, here’s some outrageously juicy stories from across the state of Florida:

Charlie Crist can’t seem to shake those gay accusations.

After Hillsborough County’s Board of County Commissioners voted to put light rail on the ballot, Pinellas and Pasco counties may jump on the bandwagon.

The Marlins mascot could be the first zoophile arrested under Florida’s proposed beastiality law.

New accessory for the beach? Male push-up pants!

Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation: Law would give campus police more power to arrest off-campus

by Alex Pickett

First off, I want to make this clear: I am in no way demeaning campus police officers. God knows we could’ve used more of them at Virginia Tech. And I’m also not insinuating that campus cops are somehow less worthy than regular police officers. They just have different jobs and jurisdictions.

That said, SB 554 is completely out-of-bounds.

This bill, proposed by Republican Charlie Dean (who has some other questionable ideas this session), would give special powers to state university police officers to make arrests off-campus. And I’m not just talking about arresting some guy with a gun across the street from the school — which we could all agree makes sense — but also more simple offenses like traffic violations.

Already, some city and county law enforcement agencies have “mutual aid agreements” with campus police that give them some authority outside of campus. For example, I’ve seen USF police at DUI checkpoints along Fowler Avenue working alongside the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office and Tampa Police Department.

But this law would allow campus police to conduct speed trap operations by themselves off campus. The law would also give them the authority to, say, raid a party at an apartment complex near the campus. Critics of this law should ask: what happens when campus police are spread thin around a neighborhood and not patrolling the university?

Rating: 3 bong hits bongbongbong

(Read about my rating system here.)

Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation: Illegal Alien mania

by Alex Pickett

Illegal immigration may not be in the spotlight anymore, but that doesn’t stop some lawmakers who continue to exploit xenophobia.

I’ll let fellow blogger Michael Hussey of Pushing Rope explain more about SB 1890.

Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation: Lawmakers want the sun out of the sunshine laws

by Alex Pickett

I’m a journalist and I love public records.

That’s my bias.

But even non-journalists should love public records, too. Without public records, you couldn’t find out how much your house sold for in the past. You wouldn’t know if there is a robber or rapist in your neighborhood. And you wouldn’t know if your child’s teacher had some unsavory past. Without public records, you would have no way of knowing if that nice mayoral candidate took money from developers or not. You wouldn’t know about the huge skyscraper or strip mall being planned for that vacant lot across the street. Without public records … you get the idea. Public records are not just the tools journalists use to get you important information — in many ways, public records are the tools for keeping this democracy, well, democratic.

So why is it that every year the lawmakers up in Tallahassee try to chip away at the Sunshine Laws little by little, hoping we won’t notice?

This session, several legislators from both sides of the aisle are attempting to gain several exemptions to public record laws. A few have decent, if wrong, arguments surrounding them; other bills are completely ridiculous.

Read the rest of this entry »

I went to a teabagging party and all I got was an anti-Obama sticker

by Alex Pickett

Well, I didn’t personally go. I have a friend in the hospital, which seemed a little more important at the time. But citizen journalists from around the nation did attend today’s teabagging events. And I think they were a little disappointed, too:

Ybor City Stogie has a nice slideshow of the Tampa teabagging party.

Wonkette does a nice re-cap of the D.C. protest with pithy captions.

Did you know that some of the teabaggers still think Barack Obama is not really a U.S. citizen? NO WAY!!! The same blogger also chased by teabaggers in Cleveland.

Rumproast.com has a particularly chilling video of a tea bag protest planning party featuring a conspiracy theorist convinced that the TV’s conversion from analog to digital is part of Obama’s master plan. Actually George Soros’ master plan. Actually .. nevermind, just watch it.

A Pensacola progressive blogger takes the mic at a teabagging event. You have to watch this.

Texas threatens to secede. Obama, can we let ‘em?

I’ll have more after my neck stops twitching.

Fear and loathing in the newsroom: How one editor copes

by Alex Pickett

Great column from Tom Huang over at Poynter Online. Huang is an editor for the Dallas Morning News, and recently had to deal with layoffs at his newspaper.

A snippet:

A few days after the layoffs in Dallas, I talked with Jill Geisler, who runs Poynter’s leadership program.
We agreed that it’s hard to be a newsroom leader in these times. Not that we deserve much sympathy, or expect to get it. Reserve that sympathy for those who are forced out of jobs they love, as well as for those who remain and feel trapped.

What I told Jill is this: Every time I mask my anger and sadness with feigned calm and confidence, I lose a bit of my integrity. Every time I feel numb, I lose a bit of what makes me human. Every time I say goodbye to a friend, I lose a piece of my heart.

It’s our human side that makes us good journalists, isn’t it?

And so, it seems to me, our greatest challenge is that we stay human, as flawed as we may be, even as we walk toward our uncertain future.

Pinellas County forum: Kill dem cats or let ‘em be?

by Alex Pickett

Several weeks before my layoff, I was perusing some of the local rags and came across an interesting item in a weekly newspaper concerning the formation of a “feral cat committee.”

Ah, I thought, finally a government body our local cat ladies can get excited about.

The jist of the article was one well covered by newspapers in the area: Pinellas County has a huge homeless cat population. It’s getting worse. Nobody agrees on what to do about it.

Some interesting statistics on the county’s feral cat popuation:

A county formula based on our population estimates over 150,000 stray or feral cats roam our alleys and streets. In 2007, Pinellas County’s animal services department took in 12,878 cats. Of those, 4,148 were claimed by their owners or adoped out. The rest — over 8,000 — were euthanized.

Currently, the county offers spay and neuter services to try and control the homeless cat population. All cats adopted out are spayed/neutered, plus the county will sterilize cats free of charge for pet owners on public assistance. That’s not counting the low price they already charge ($20-30) for everyone else.

In addition to the county’s efforts, some organizations like the Human Society conduct TNR programs (that’s Trap-Nueter-Release for those not hip on the lingo) that sterilize feral cat colonies in the hopes that they will eventually die out. The argument for those TNR supporters is that if you just remove the feral cats, another group will move in, possibly one not sterilized, and create a worse situation.

(I’ve written about TNR here.)

But some government agencies and animal organizations say that’s just not good enough.

Back to the article.

So, the reporter for this story attended a 2008 county commission meeting where they were discussing the feral cat situation. The director of Pinellas County’s animal services department, Dr. Welch Agnew, presented these same statistics to commissioners along with information on the county’s policy. That policy is to screen all cats coming into the county shelter, save the healthy ones with good attitudes, and euthanize the rest. He added this adorable-as-a-kitten quote: “We don’t hate cats. We love cats and want to get as many home as we can.”

But Dr. Bruce Rinker, the county’s environmental lands manager, had a different take. Feral cats are invasive species, he told commissioners, just like Brazilian peppers, air potatoes and Cuban tree frogs. Plus, they kill birds. And he does not like TNR. He calls it: “Trap, neuter and re-abandon.”

Next up at this commission meeting was Mike McDonald of the Clearwater Audubon Society who agreed with Rinker. He feels all feral cats should be euthanized. A life on the streets is much more harsh, he argued.

The county commissioners didn’t vote on any new policy — you can imagine the public outcry over rounding up little kitties and gassing them. Instead, the commissioners allowed stakeholders to create a committee to talk about the issue. I’ve been eagerly awaiting any news since. Earlier this month, that news came.

Today, April 15 from 4:30 to 7:30 p.m., the feral cat committee will host a forum to gather public input on what to do with feral cats. Kill ‘em or TNR ‘em?

This is one issue that has fallen by the wayside over the last few months. But if you’re a cat lover, and especially if you have experience in solutions, you might want to speak your mind.

Quick hits: Rush Limbaugh, teabagging tax day party, IRS audit suggestions, mascot recession and cougars on Facebook

by Alex Pickett

I’m a little bogged down with applications, resumes and a friend in the hospital, but in the interest of being a regular blogger, I thought my readers should check out these links:

Frontline’s executive producer David Fanning, political commentator Cokie Roberts and local journos galore!

Tomorrow, “teabaggers” rally across the state. (h/t to Blast Off! for the teabagging reference and check out Pushing Rope’s analysis on a certain Florida politician)

Did Rush Limbaugh give away his show for free to gain top ratings?

For all my procrastinators: Consumerist gives 16 ways to get the IRS to audit you. Now that you’ve successfully wasted 10 more minutes, here’s how to get an extension.

From now on, if you plan on getting arrested in Polk County, don’t keep any money in your wallet.

The recession hits sport team mascots. There goes my next dream …

Journalist: “This is America. Pound Sand.”

Gina Vivinetto joins the “Will Report for Food” club. Again.

And finally, cougars are taking over Facebook. At least 10Connects.com thinks so.

Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation: Denying financial aid to visa-carrying students

by Alex Pickett

Most states, with the exception of maybe Vermont, revel in their diversity. It’s a quality that state leaders sell to the citizenry, prospective businesses and the federal government. Although many institutions strive for more diversity, none seek it out more than universities and colleges. Diversity in the student population is a major selling point for institutions of higher learning.

That’s why SB 1294 is such a surprising bill to propose.

This law would prohibit any university from using state funds (directly or indirectly) to provide financial assistance to students with a F-1 or M-1 visa. The legislation, introduced by Ronda Storms (of course!), is couched in saving money and providing more assistance to Florida residents seeking a higher education. The irony is the bill would also require universities and colleges to provide a detailed account of where their funds go every year, which would create another layer of bureaucracy and erode any money saved.

Rating: 2 bong hits bongbong

(Read about my rating system here.)

Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation: Expansion of warrantless arrest laws

by Alex Pickett

Next up on my running series about the absurd bills debated in the Florida Legislature is SB 1428. This bipartisan bill, sponsored by Republican Thad Altman in the Senate and Democrat Adam Fetterman in the House, would expand warrantless arrests in Florida.

What are warrantless arrests? The definition is self-explanatory: any arrest without a warrant. Obviously, officers arrest people every day without a warrant. The reason? Most state laws allow police to make a warrantless arrests if 1) the criminal act is a felony, 2) the officer sees the crime committed or, in some cases, if probable cause is obvious (like if an officer sees a huge stash of cocaine in the seat of your car).

Warrantless arrests aren’t necessarily bad. In cases of murder or armed robbery, for example, you need to get the suspect off the street immediately. A case can be argued for some misdemeanors, too, like domestic violence. But some states have gone a little overboard and given officers the right to conduct warrantless arrests on all misdemeanors without any requirements. For example, the testimony of a citizen could be enough to garner an arrest.

SB 1428 would expand warrantless arrest laws to include the unlawful public exhibition of sexual organs and DUI. The first part seems OK; just think of some perv in front of a school. Just because the perv might be clothed when officers arrive, you would like the police to have enough probable cause to haul him away just by the words of a few students who saw him do his dirty deed. But warrantless arrest laws and DUI could have larger implications.

I’ll let Frankie the Law Dog explain:

The current version of the warrentless arrest statute allows officers to arrest a person on misdemeanor DUI without a warrant in only three circumstances:  (1) when the officer witnesses each element of a prima facie case of DUI, (2) when the officer is investigating an accident and develops probable cause to charge DUI, or (3) under the so-called “fellow officer” rule – when one officer calls on another officer for assistance and the combined observations of the two officers together establish probable cause for the arrest.

Importantly, under the current version of the statute, the fellow officer rule does not impute the knowledge of citizen informants to law enforcement officers.  However, if HB 793 becomes law, any citizen could walk up to an officer and relate the commission of misdemeanor DUI by someone, and the officer would have probable cause to arrest.

I can think of a dozen instances where “citizens” could unfairly blame DUI on someone. DUI is a serious crime, no doubt. But just like sex offenses, a DUI arrest — even if the suspect is not ultimately convicted — can have major implications on someone’s professional and family life. Shouldn’t we keep the tough warrantless arrest safeguards we have now?

(P.S. I fully admit I don’t have a law degree and I’m open for debate on this one from someone who does.)

Rating: 1 bong hit bong

Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation: Florida lawmakers want to ban novelty lighters

by Alex Pickett

lighters

There are few bills that reach the absolute absurdity of SB 806, a proposed law banning lighters that resemble “a cartoon character, animal, toy, gun, watch, musical instrument, vehicle, food or beverage, that plays sound or musical notes, or that displays flashing lights or other visual effects.”

No, really — that’s a quote from the bill, which is sponsored by Republicans Senator Lee Constantine and House Rep. Scott Plakon.

But what’s really ludicrous is Florida isn’t the only state trying to enact novelty lighter bans. All across the country, state legislatures are lining up to snuff them out. Even at the national level, politicians are waging a war against lighters; this year, senators Ron Wyden, Susan Collins and Chris Dodd introduced the “Protect Children from Dangerous Lighters Act.”

The impetus for the bill is, of course, children — children who (somehow) grab a hold of these lighters and start setting people aflame. Of course, alternatives to this bill could be banning kids under 18 from buying any lighter, or — and I admit this one is a little crazy — calling on parents to take responsibility for their kids.

And I always heard Republicans were against larger government intrusions into our lives …

Rating: 5 bong hits bongbongbongbongbong

(Read about my rating system here.)

(Photo courtesy of New York state’s Department of State)

What will save newspapers?

by Alex Pickett

Another day, another several resumes go out.

After the first few hours of scouring the Internet for job opportunities, I check my Google Reader only to find another newspaper is shrinking, closing or just getting crappier. Sometimes, in between my tuna sandwhiches and blog posts, I can almost hear print media let out a pitiful groan. Honestly, it’s a little depressing.

Then, I find something like this: Jonathan Mann and the folks over at the East Bay Express have finally found the answer to saving newspapers. And, in true digital fashion, they’ve put it to music and developed a YouTube video.

We’re saved!

Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation: Ronda Storms hates public art

by Alex Pickett

stormsThat State Senator Ronda Storms is a very talented woman. I mean, what other Florida politician can create such disdain among large swaths of the state’s population? She’s pissed off gays, First Amendment champions, librarians, science teachers and now, art lovers.

SB 1104 seeks to repeal the 30-year-old Art in State Public Buildings Program, a state provision that requires a small percentage of money for public buildings go into artwork for said structures. In an interview with a Tampa Tribune reporter, Storms says the bill is only fair while the state deals with a tough budget crisis:

“While I certainly believe art and culture provide wonderful benefits to Florida, I do not believe that at this time most Floridians want to continue this luxury when people are losing their jobs and seniors and children are losing health services.”

But is the outlay of money for public art really harming the state’s coffers? The Tribune had some interesting findings:

Under the program, the cost of the art can’t be more than half of 1 percent of the total cost of the building or $100,000, whichever is less. The average the state paid for a work of art was $7,955. The state spent a total of $406,725 for public art in 2005; $294,069 in 2006; and $701,389 in 2007.

The statute applies only to buildings with public access. It excludes prisons, secure areas, maintenance sheds and other structures the public normally would not visit.

Under the statute, more than 1,000 works of art have been purchased and installed in state buildings, including universities, state parks, Department of Transportation district offices and state agency buildings.

Just like parks, recreational facilities and libraries, art adds a quality of life to a city. Considering public art money is a fraction of Florida’s budget, and may even generate money by impressing tourists and possible new businesses, this bill is positively ridiculous.

That must be why Storms recently added a sunset clause to the bill that would allow the public art program to return in 2011. A huge outcry among art lovers probably prompted that change of heart. Maybe repeated calls and e-mails to her office (and to your own state lawmaker) would nudge her away from the bill altogether.

(By the way, the House sponsor is Republican Rich Glorioso from Plant City. I don’t want him to get off the hook either. Contact his office here.)

Rating: 4 bong hits bongbongbongbong

Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation: More bad drug laws

by Alex Pickett

Remember George Orwell’s 1984? Great book with a grave message: Watch out for the thought police.

“Thoughtcrime” comes to mind when I read SB 236.

deanProposed by Democrat Dave Aronberg and Republicans Charles Dean and Carey Baker, this law would increase the penalties of stealing from utilities if the stolen power is used to grow marijuana. (Marijuana is specifically mentioned in the bill, though the proposed law could be used for other controlled substances.) Currently, anyone who steals from the utilities is guilty of a misdemeanor (depending on the amount stolen) and must pay back the power company. But if this bill passes, the intent to grow weed would increase punishment to a third-degree felony, a possible five-year prison sentence.

This bill comes as Florida deals with an ever-growing (ha!) amount of grow houses. In fact, as I’ve reported before, Florida is ranked No. 2 in the U.S. for marijuana cultivation, right behind California.

Without even getting into the debate over our wacked-out drug laws, and without pointing out that other states are loosening drug laws as Florida cracks down, I don’t see how stealing electricity for growing marijuana is any worse than, say, stealing electricity to create fake money, or stealing natural gas so you can cook the materials needed for explosives. Should we have subsets of the utility theft code for every stinkin’ intent for stealing power? Ridiculous.

Even if you don’t have the libertarian view on marijuana, why not up the utility theft penalties for everyone?

Accordingly, I give this bill a rating of 3 bong hits.

bongbongbong

(Read about my rating system here.)

Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation: Illegal alien or undocumented worker? Dictionary be damned, a Florida Senator decides

by Alex Pickett

wilsonFrederica Wilson seems like a nice lady. I mean, come on: Who cannot like a state senator who wears a hat like that for her official photo?

Sen. Wilson has some admirable bills in this year’s session, too. She’s a former teacher and big champion of their causes. She’s compassionate about the woes of the homeless. Hell, she even wants to make sure inmates have condoms so they don’t contract HIV in the clink. Whether you are liberal or conservative, agree or disagree, you have to admit her heart seems in the right place with those type of bills.

But then there’s her repeated attempts to pass a bill like SB 74, a law that would prohibit the term “illegal alien” in any state documents.

Illegal immigration is definitely a hot topic in this country. Intelligent people have made strong arguments against and in defense of the issue. By the same token, ignorant people have used the controversy as a wedge issue. No matter your political persuasions, you cannot argue that the vast majority of people coming into this country illegally are good, hard-working individuals who just want a better life. It’s also hard to argue against how much strain they put on certain communities.

So with an issue so complex, so deserving of intelligent debate, Sen. Wilson wants to argue about the words we use to describe them? Illegal alien or undocumented worker — it may be semantics, but there’s a reason why it’s used officially both at the state and federal level. Exhibit A: The dictionary.

Illegal. adjective. 1. Forbidden by law or statute.

Alien. noun. 1. resident born in or belonging to another country who has not acquired citizenship by naturalization.

Undocumented worker sounds real nice, but it’s not entirely accurate. What if the person crossing over is the wife of a factory worker with a 2-month-old child who plans to become a stay-at-home mom? That woman could not be considered a worker, right? And what if they do have documents, but the papers are fake? Undocumented worker is a noun meant to elicit political support. But that’s hardly a reason to put it on official documents.

I understand Wilson’s argument: How can you call people illegal and children aliens? But with all the other woes in our state, politicians’ priorities should be on fixing these problems, not legislating political correctness.

Rating: 2 bong hitsbongbong

(Read about my rating system here.)

Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation: The return of the saggy pants bill

by Alex Pickett

1317976035_be76e6b4fa_mOh, Gary Siplin of Orlando: Did you not learn anything from last legislative session? Did you not realize that legislating underpants makes you, and the rest of us, look like reactionary fools with misplaced priorities?

Apparently not. Because Gary Siplin (D-Orlando) reintroduced the Saggy Pants Bill.

siplin*Slaps forehead*

Yes, our esteemed Democratic senator from Central Florida is at it again. SB 390 would prohibit students from exposing below the waist underwear while on the grounds of a public school.

I will give Siplin credit on one thing though — this year his penalties are a little more sane. Last year, he proposed arresting said youth rocking out with their drawers out. This year, small kids in big pants will receive a verbal warning for the first offense, suspension for three days on the second and a five-day suspension for a third offense.

But, as I noted last year, this law is not needed:

Besides the dubiousness of the state regulating local dress codes, Siplin fails to recognize that school districts already have dress code requirements that prohibit saggy pants.

Oh, Gary Siplin, what’s next for you? Short skirts? Stinky socks? Mandating clean underwear (in case of an accident)?!

Rating: 5 bong hits bongbongbongbongbong

(Read about my rating system here. Photo courtesy of Malingering/Flickr)

The Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation is back!

by Alex Pickett

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The Florida Legislature is halfway through its annual session and, as the maxim goes, “no man’s life, liberty or property is safe while the (Florida) Legislature is in session.” (Thanks, Mark Twain!)

I would add “no man’s sanity is safe either.”

The main word this session is “deregulation.” From suspending impact fees to giving telephone and power companies carte blanche over our pocketbooks, Florida’s politicians are bending backwards to try and appease business interests in the hopes of turning around our desperate economic situation. At least that’s the party line; the real reason could be opportunism.

Luckily, several journalists are reporting on these important bills, including Howard Troxler for the St. Petersburg Times. WMNF’s Rob Lorei interviewed Troxler yesterday for his “Radioactivity” program and I highly recommend downloading the podcast (it’s not available yet, but keep looking). Even as reporters’ ranks dwindle, some good work is coming out of the state’s major papers on these topics.

But what I don’t hear a lot about are these little bills that may not affect all Floridians, but could make lives miserable for a certain few. These are bills filed by legislators who missed the boat on real reforms and instead throw out politically-charged manifestos intended to get them re-elected. Or in some cases, perhaps these politicians are just insane.

Last year, while working at Creative Loafing, I profiled a number of a bills that just defied logic. At the top of my list was the law banning Truck Nutz. In fact, I rated all the other pieces of ridiculous legislation with one to five “Truck Nutz.” The law requiring the right amount of TP in public restrooms earned two “Nutz,” while the saggy pants bill earned five.

This year’s list of bills does not look much better. So, I’m bringing back the “Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation.” There’s no Truck Nutz bill this session, so I’m going with another absurd proposed law: Rep. Darryl Rouson’s “bong tax.” I won’t go into the specifics here — I reported on this bill right before my lay-off – but basically Rep. Rouson wants to put a heavy tax on all the headshops in the state. So, every bill I outline here will be rated from one “bong hit” to five, with five representing the most stoned bills coming out this session.

For the next week, I’ll post a few outrageous bills each day. This is an important time for citizens; next week, many legislators will go home for Easter and put many of these bills on hold until they return. This is your chance to send letters and e-mails letting your representative and tell them you don’t appreciate their precious (and paid-for) time wasted on stupid legislation. Yes, laws like the bong tax might get us on the Daily Show, but they don’t solve our state’s problems.

(Photo courtesy of whizchickenonabun/Flickr)

Rupert Murdoch buys the St. Pete Times, Skatepark of Tampa files bankruptcy, Texas passes gay marriage

by Alex Pickett

April Fool’s Day is the worst day to blog.

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