Florida Senate – Alex Pickett

Dispatches from the Sunshine State: Jesus plates, beastiality and the Confederate Flag

Posted on April 29, 2009by Alex

OH COME ALL YE LICENSE PLATES: A few bills moving through the State Senate would put religious themes on certian specialty license plates. Enthusiastic evangelists will be able to show their faith far and wide (right under their “Jesus is my co-pilot” and fish stickers), though they may want to start praying, because passage of the plates does not look good. Maybe that’s for the better, anyway; I mean, putting out these plates would create quite a quandry in religious circles with parishoners trying to decide whether their vehicle should get the “Choose Life” or Jesus plates. I’m not hatin’ though. Just like Gov. Crist, I don’t see a problem with the plates. I’m just hoping a compromise can be made, so my new favorite State Senator Al Lawson can get this awesome plate passed:

OF BEAST & MAN: State Senators have been more successful with their beastiality bill. I raised the rankles of animal lovers (including Rep. Bill Heller!) when I added a similar bill to my Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation last year. I feel the same now — that beastiality has never been “legal” and animal cruelty laws are sufficient — but there were more wacky bills this session than last to justify putting it on the list.

SPEAKING OF REDNECKS: The Sons of Confederate Veterans had quite the hootenanny this weekend. The Dixie memorial park is officially dedicated and that huge-ass flag on I-4 and I-75 is here to stay. I didn’t go, but I hear it was a multicultural affair. Come to think of it, so were the Sunday lynchings at the turn of the century, just in a different context.

Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation: Lawmakers want the sun out of the sunshine laws

Posted on April 21, 2009by Alex

I’m a journalist and I love public records.

That’s my bias.

But even non-journalists should love public records, too. Without public records, you couldn’t find out how much your house sold for in the past. You wouldn’t know if there is a robber or rapist in your neighborhood. And you wouldn’t know if your child’s teacher had some unsavory past. Without public records, you would have no way of knowing if that nice mayoral candidate took money from developers or not. You wouldn’t know about the huge skyscraper or strip mall being planned for that vacant lot across the street. Without public records … you get the idea. Public records are not just the tools journalists use to get you important information — in many ways, public records are the tools for keeping this democracy, well, democratic.

So why is it that every year the lawmakers up in Tallahassee try to chip away at the Sunshine Laws little by little, hoping we won’t notice?

This session, several legislators from both sides of the aisle are attempting to gain several exemptions to public record laws. A few have decent, if wrong, arguments surrounding them; other bills are completely ridiculous.

Behind the News, Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation

Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation: Illegal alien or undocumented worker? Dictionary be damned, a Florida Senator decides

Posted on April 7, 2009by Alex

Frederica Wilson seems like a nice lady. I mean, come on: Who cannot like a state senator who wears a hat like that for her official photo?

Sen. Wilson has some admirable bills in this year’s session, too. She’s a former teacher and big champion of their causes. She’s compassionate about the woes of the homeless. Hell, she even wants to make sure inmates have condoms so they don’t contract HIV in the clink. Whether you are liberal or conservative, agree or disagree, you have to admit her heart seems in the right place with those type of bills.

But then there’s her repeated attempts to pass a bill like SB 74, a law that would prohibit the term “illegal alien” in any state documents.

Illegal immigration is definitely a hot topic in this country. Intelligent people have made strong arguments against and in defense of the issue. By the same token, ignorant people have used the controversy as a wedge issue. No matter your political persuasions, you cannot argue that the vast majority of people coming into this country illegally are good, hard-working individuals who just want a better life. It’s also hard to argue against how much strain they put on certain communities.

So with an issue so complex, so deserving of intelligent debate, Sen. Wilson wants to argue about the words we use to describe them? Illegal alien or undocumented worker — it may be semantics, but there’s a reason why it’s used officially both at the state and federal level. Exhibit A: The dictionary.

Illegal. adjective. 1. Forbidden by law or statute.

Alien. noun. 1. resident born in or belonging to another country who has not acquired citizenship by naturalization.

Undocumented worker sounds real nice, but it’s not entirely accurate. What if the person crossing over is the wife of a factory worker with a 2-month-old child who plans to become a stay-at-home mom? That woman could not be considered a worker, right? And what if they do have documents, but the papers are fake? Undocumented worker is a noun meant to elicit political support. But that’s hardly a reason to put it on official documents.

I understand Wilson’s argument: How can you call people illegal and children aliens? But with all the other woes in our state, politicians’ priorities should be on fixing these problems, not legislating political correctness.

Rating: 2 bong hits

(Read about my rating system here.)